Falling for the Midnight Sun
by whenyourheartstopsbeating
Summary: He's left and Bella's gone to drastic measures to make sure that she is no one's problem. She doesn't know she needs a savior, a hero, someone to be there for her. So fate lands her with a beautifull bronze haired memory.
1. The Songfic that will never again appear

I hate songfics…this is not a songfic…this is simply a song that is playing in Bella's head while she is doing and thinking all of this shit

**I hate songfics…this is not a songfic…this is simply a song that is playing in Bella's head while she is doing and thinking all of this shit. Repeat…THIS IS NOT A SONGFIC STORY. Ok **

**Stephenie Meyer is the all powerful and ever living god that I bow down to for making all of the boys of my dreams… ahem … yea yea and their **_**girlfriends**_** appear. Praise Stephenie!! But not the girlfriends. **

Been given 24 hours  
to tie up loose ends  
to make amends  
His eyes said it all  
I started to fall  
and the silence deafened

Letters written, my last words planned out and said, my car destroyed, my life complete.

He had left long ago with a promise to never love again. He had killed me that day, I was just taking care of the rest.

Head spinning round  
no time to sit down  
just wanted to  
run and run and run  
Be careful they say  
don't wish life away,  
now I've one day

I walked along. The lights of the growling, brightly colored machines zooming past me without the grace of acknowledgement. My hand skimmed the concrete of the thick ledge. Stepping around the next pole, my hands attached themselves to the wet surface and I hoisted myself up. I held onto one of the thick chords that supported the bridge, and now me.

While my right hand held the chord my left flew straight out from my side. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, the rain pelting me.

And I can't believe  
How I've been wasting my time

The distractions I had given myself were easier to come by than the consequences. The men, the drugs, the drinking, the cuts. It was all a ploy. I believed that if I could bleed enough he would be able to know. Somehow he would see…see the way back to me. But I was lying to myself again and again…he will never come back, he will never love me again, I don't really believe he ever did.

In 24 hours they'll be  
laying flowers  
on my life, it's over tonight  
I'm not messing no I  
need your blessing  
and your promise to live free  
please do it for me

I needed him to see that I was over it. I am living my life and so should he.

The rain felt good on my weathered skin. My left foot inched forward. I could feel the edge slipping beneath the middle of my foot.

Is there a heaven a hell  
and will I come back  
who can tell  
Now I can see  
what matters to me  
it's as clear as crystal  
The places I've been  
the people I've seen  
plans that I made  
start to fade  
The sun's setting gold  
thought I would grow old,  
it wasn't to be

I was ready. It is time. I can't wait anymore. My mind plagues me with pictures of him…of us… together. Of how things used to be and the future I had planned. The family I needed so much.

I have nothing left, nothing to live for. Everything is taken care of. All of my dreams put to rest. Bills paid, Charlie married, and I know that _he_ was happy wherever he was and whoever he had to keep him happy now. I just wish it could have been me.

I wish I could have made myself enough…

And I can't believe  
How I've been wasting my time

In 18 hours they'll be  
laying flowers  
on my life, it's over tonight  
I'm not messing no I  
need your blessing  
and your promise to live free  
please do it for me

I was counting down the seconds, the time until I could put my wandering mind at ease. Until fate let me feel that final rush before I'm gone.

In 13 hours they'll be  
laying flowers  
on my life, it's over tonight  
I'm not messing no I  
need your blessing  
and your promise to live free  
Please do it for me

I'm not alone, I sense it, I sense it  
All that I said, I meant it, I meant it

And I can't believe  
How much I've wasted my time

People, in the last few weeks had been asking how they could help. Telling me their numbers and giving me chocolate things. Phone numbers --how stupid can you be…what if I'm a psychopath, what then? What really gets me is that no one ever asked what was wrong. I could have killed a person and they would have no idea as long as I plastered that plastic smile on my face.

In just 8 hours they'll be  
laying flowers  
on my life, it's over tonight  
I'm not messing no I  
need your blessing  
and your promise to live free  
please do it for me

My right foot slid forward and my arm fell from the chord. I raised my hands above my head like I was going to dive. Deep breath, Close your eyes. Alice's laugh, Rosalie's oil smears, Emmett's hugs, Jasper's…Jasper-ness, Carlisle's knowledge, Esme's warmth, …Edward…Edward's smile…

In just 1 hour they'll be  
laying flowers  
on my life, it's over tonight  
I'm not messing no I  
need your blessing  
and your promise to live free  
please do it for me

And I jumped…

**So please review I'll have the next chapters up when I get some reviews…to tomorrow night…whichever comes first. Haha ok it's way to late for this and I've had way to long of a week to come up with any serious wit…so…there you go**

**Have fun with that one. **

**mpo**


	2. Into Oblivion

Ok sorry I didn't mention this earlier but the last song was 24 by Jem

**Ok sorry I didn't mention this earlier but the last song was 24 by Jem. I LOVE that song. This story is going to be fairly dark so if you have any questions or suggestions I would love to hear them! And if you haven't guessed this is an EXB story**

**Stephenie Meyer is the owner of the aforementioned Edward and Bella so after I finish writing my next chapter I will sit down…and then I will cry…FEEL THE SADNESS**

**Proceed with the reading…**

There is always a debate of whether it's the fall or the impact that kills you. I'll tell you now it's the impact. The fall…well… I've never felt so alive. It's greater than any high. At first you are soaring toward the water. You know that you are going to die and it's like your body tells you that this is the last thing you'll ever experience…so live it up.

My hands touched the water first. And I thought the wind was cold! It was ice against my skin. _I still remember his touch…_ they felt so similar. Before I hit the water every dream I had ever had rushed through my mind and I worried that I wouldn't have enough time to see them all. It was too late to turn back but I wanted to remember my dreams like I had lived them.

I saw my life, my love, my reason for living until now. He stood before a small meadow and smiled at me. Eyes full of love as he went down on one knee with the ring of my dreams. I saw our wedding and our families coming together as my life merged with his. I saw new treaties and a life-long friendship with Jake. I saw the most amazingly wonderful pain as _he_ made us completely equal. I saw our real wedding night. I saw the family I had always wanted. The eternity I had dreamed of with the "man" I loved.

My mind reprimanded me when I tried to tell myself it wasn't real. It knew better than I did that this is what I wanted to remember. Not reality, not what I told myself to believe, my mind had a mind of its own when it came to what it knew would make me happy.

The water was starting to come to my elbows now. I only had a few more milliseconds to to believe anything I wanted… dream anything I wanted…say anything I wanted…

_Edward I love you, forever…_

"Bella!!"

**Gasp…who said that (looks around suspiciously). Ok enough of the nonsense. For those of you who reviewed THANK YOU SO MUCH!! Kudos to you!! Or something else if you prefer. To that girl who asked me about the song it's up above in bold, and yes….IT IS THE GREATEST SONG EVER. I could really see it going through Bella's mind. **

"**Reviewing makes me write faster" – hahah not really but I love the people who say that and I really will update soon. I'm having fun with this story!!**


	3. In The Dark When There's No One Listenin

My skin crawled

**i secretly love writing these…**

"_**I'm sorry, so sorry, I'm sorry Stephenie owns all this…"**_

_**-accompanying Jem's amazing song "They"**_

**i'm going through a Jem phase. **

**Get over it**

**To the evil little girl/boy who wrote me saying that I "must be new at this", you can stop reading right now. I don't mean this to be a heartfelt tearjerker. I mean this story to be whatever it comes out as. If you don't like it then why did you review, even better, why did you finish reading long enough to get to the review button. **

**There are over 18,000 stories in the Twilight section….I'm sure that someone else will appreciate you laughing at them. **

**As for the rest of my reviewers…thank you soooooo much I was glad that the story was well received!!**

**Stephenie Meyer, I loathe the day that you put you dream into the awe inspiring words that haunt our lives on a daily basis. I hope it never dies. **

**READ…**

My skin crawled. I could feel every part of my body that shook with the cold.

_WAIT A TIC_

I shouldn't feel air. I shouldn't feel something hard. I shouldn't feel anything!! I tried to open my eyes quickly, only to feel my body reprimanding me for it. My eyes moved along beneath the lids until I finally worked up the courage to open them. Slivers at a time the opened and I blinked. A little more opening and I blinked. A little more opening and I blinked. Monotonous…no??

When my eyes opened as fully as I could get them, I took inventory of where I was, who I was…very important…and who I was with.

The room was dark. But it wasn't a cold dark. It was the kind of dark you see as a child when you go to sleep at night. Not sinister, but innocently dangerous. Like someone had accidentally left the night light off but the glow still lingered in the air. There was the fresh scent of something woodsy and something else that I couldn't place. However it was that second scent that quickly got my attention. It was something familiar, something I had known but suppressed.

I tried to sit up on the (I am on a couch) couch. I didn't get very far but from what I could tell the room was HUGE!! Definitely not something in Chicago. But who else could have known me. No one knows me here…I should know I made sure of it. Ever since I got here it's been a different bar every night and a different coffee/bookstore every morning. I never drew attention to myself. No car, no stable home, no real job, nothing. I didn't even have a bank account.

My right foot touched the floor with a grace I never knew I had. It was warm. To think of it the entire room was warm. No blankets had been put on me and I wondered if I had dreamed it all.

It's not something one usually sees in their minds wandering eye…

Then it hit me with a force like nothing else.

_I tried to kill myself_.

Though I tried no to let it show, I couldn't handle the pain. I slowly sat up in the bed and for a minute my head begged to be dismembered. I found a blanket and turned to a door on the right, hoping it was a closet or something to get out of my little black cocktail dress.

As it creaked slowly open I stepped just inside the door frame and searched for a switch. When flicked on, it illuminated a very large, very lavish bathroom with a long mirror covering the wall with the sink. I took two more steps in and hesitantly looked in the mirror.

I secretly fear what I look like in the morning. When you wake up from a long night. The feeling of makeup caked on your skin and your rats nest of hair drowned in used hair products. The black mascara marks running down to anywhere but where it's supposed to stay, giving the aforementioned wearer a "raccoon" look. Quite popular in LA as I'm told.

Well let me tell you…I looked nothing like that. My face had been washed. I could still feel the soap tightening my skin. My hair had been brushed and I moved the blanket aside to find that what I thought had still been my dress was replaced with a beautiful midnight blue night gown that ended at the same point on my thigh. To this day I could only think of one person that would care this much about my appearance…_but it couldn't be, they left me._

That last thought left me with a gut wrenching sob. I couldn't fathom that that sound came from me. I never understood how you could feel your life falling apart.

I understood now.

As soon as the infernal sound left my mouth there was a pounding on the door. I pulled back from the countertop quickly, as if it had left scars. Another knock, lighter this time, as if from a different hand. I ran toward the light switch and flicked it off and pivoted to run into the corner behind the toilet.

"Bella…" a deep voice resonated through the walls and devoured my ears.

_I know that voice…BUT IT CAN'T BE_. My mind waged a war with itself. Could I really believe that they were back that they had come to find me? But they couldn't have known, Charlie thinks I'm in California, at school. They must have found me by mistake, yet again I was the cause of their worry, their distress, and the countless dangers that I put myself in only caused them greater harm.

"Bella…please we want to talk to you. Please you have no idea how much we've missed you. _He_'s not here, I promise." A lighter tingly voice soothingly cooed.

_He_, Edward….Edward wasn't here. They might have missed me but he doesn't. He's probably moved on to another by now. No matter how much either side wanted to get reacquainted it could never be for fear of the next meeting.

I slid my back up the wall and looked at my feet, pep-talking my way to the door. Finally my feet agreed with me and I started to aimlessly feel for the counter to lead the way. When I reached the door my left hand laid flat against the cool surface. I couldn't quite imagine what my life would be like if I opened that door but I could see what would be if I crawled out the window.

My hand touched the knob…

**Ok I'm sorry I don't usually like cliffs. So if I do it again be ready to hit me with a cyber mallet next time. **

**Btw I wrote this entire thing during 1 episode of Greek and 1 episode of Fosters Home For Imaginary Friends…I LOVE THAT SHOW!! kk**

**Alright I know I usually have something witty to say but I'm just too stressed out…so here's my version of a long funny goodbye**

**bye**

**p.s. please review I'd like to get at least 10 before I update again…sorry**


	4. Fall Back In The Arms Of Grace

I am soo pissed at all of you

**I am soo pissed at all of you. This is ridiculous. My friend posted her story on Tuesday and she has over 30 reviews from 103 hits…I however am struggling to get just 10 reviews from 304 reviews. Come on people I know you're out there. Just please give some feedback, I love all of you who did review you are all great!! This story is going to get really involved really fast so please pay attention, if you have any suggestions or questions I'll be happy to explain things to u**

**Reading the Twilight series: May cause blotchy eyes, loss of sleep, daydreaming, overactive imaginations, an unreal idealism of the male species, a new found interest in shiny silver Volvos and their drivers, hallucinations of your friends or enemies as werewolves or sucking your blood, and finally that secret compartment in the back of your closet that holds and hides all of your neurotic and obsessive trinkets and your secret diary full of hate mail to a certain Stephenie Meyer who made you take this stupidly, intoxicatingly, fantastic drug in the first place.**

"okay Bella, we're going to go back downstairs come down if you need us. No pressure to come or anything, just take your time…okay?" said the smaller voice. I couldn't bring myself to call her by name just yet.

When I was sure they had left the room and shut the door I turned the knob. My head curved around the door and I peeked out to double check. Cautiously I stepped out and went to sit on the bed where "one of the people" had laid out clothes for me. I changed quickly for fear of another intrusion, and sat on the bed. I stared out at the lights of the city for what must have been hours. The lights beckoned my eyes as my mind began to wander. _I wish I had died_. I shook my head, I shouldn't be thinking that way but it was so hard not to. There was so much I still had left to do. Now I feel like a commercial telling myself that there is more to live for…that there's more to this life than what fate has dealt me. The lights became more interesting as time went on. Some flickered, some flashed, some were steady in the darkness – a beacon for anyone willing to search for them. I missed so much of my dreams, I missed the way I could see him so clearly in my mind and loathed it at the same time.

I must have fallen asleep again because when I woke up there was a tray of food on the nightstand next to me. I was ravenous and ate every bite while I woke myself up. The flavors on my tongue were enough to clear my head and give me what little energy I would need to form a plan.

I heard the door open and slam downstairs.

"NOOOOOOOOO…LET ME GO, WHERE IS SHE ALICE, WHERE IS SHE?? GET OFF ME, GOD, …_PLEASE_…" _the voice_, it was there, it was _his_, he's here, he's downstairs, he knows I'm here, and he hates me, and he's going to kick me out again, kick me to the curb again, smash my heart to pieces again, …and he's crying…

I could hear his screams of protest coming from where they must be holding him, and it broke my heart. No he broke my heart now he's bringing it back to torture me. I stood before the door of the room with my right hand bracing itself against the cool wood. Slowly I began to back away and held my stare on the door. I moved backwards toward the bed and blindly clambered onto it.

There was a knock on the door, the same as the light one on the bathroom door.

Slowly, without permission, it began to open. This is the point in the movies where I and every other sensible viewer would be screaming at the vulnerable girl to run for her life. I however was desensitized to these creatures of the night so I sat and waited either for my eminent demise or for my improbable salvation.

Alice's head poked through the crack and a glowing smile immediately lit up her face. She ran to the foot of the bed and put her hands on my knees. If she could cry she would probably be incoherent by now.

"Oh Bella, Ireallythoughti'dnevertalktoyouagain,idon'tknowwhatEdwardtoldyoubutit'sallaliehereallydidn'tmeananyofit,andhetriedtokillhimselfanditdidn'tworkandEmmettsavedhimandhe'scryinghiseyesoutrightnowandhemissesyousomuchjustplease…say…you'll…talk to…him…please Bella, I'm so sorry I couldn't see it and he wouldn't change his mind…" she was really sobbing right now. I didn't know what to do I had no idea what she really said but I got the general idea.

When I slid off the bed and looked her in the eye, I think she thought I was crazy. I took her hands in mine and looked up at her and launched myself at her as she came at me with open arms. We both cried (or dry sobbed) and we told each other our sides of the story. By the end my need to see him became a life or death necessity.

Alice explained how Edward told them it was better for me that I was better off. How he talked them all into moving and stayed behind. She thought he was going to offer for me to come with them and if I accepted he was going to change me. _How wrong she was_. She said that after a few weeks he vanished and showed up in Volterra, a castle in Italy where the vampire government lived and reigned. He worked for them for a while until he couldn't take it anymore. He begged them to kill him. My entire body shut down right then. _How could he!? How could he ruin his life and his family's lives to rid himself of a bad memory?_ Alice could sense that I was on the verge of an emotional meltdown. She hugged me again after her story and told me she loved me that they all did "and I mean all…" she said with a not so subtle hint. I was still a little skeptical.

It felt so good to be with her again, it felt like my life was starting to fall back into place.

I could breathe again.

Now if only I could get my heart in working order, I might actually find something in this wretched world to live for.

**Okay, alright I know it's not my best work but you know what for the 305 of you who haven't reviewed you don't even deserve it. Come on it's not exactly spirit lifting to have your story be blown off and it does not take that long…I should know. **

**Next time on **_**Falling For The Midnight Sun**_** we'll be guest starring Edward Cullen!! and the talk that will move mountains. **

**Love me, hate me, I don't care, JUST REVIEW!!**


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